Question by HipHipJorge: Boyfriend will not stop looking at porn/ paid webcam sites. Should I leave him?
My boyfriend and I have been together for 3 years and live together. We are both 28. Sex has never been that great with him, but has been getting progressively worse as time goes on.
In October, I found out he had an account on a payed adult webcam site, where he was paying for live shows with girls a few times a week. At that time, we were having sex about once a month… only when I initiated it, and half the time I was getting turned down because he was too tired, or because of something i had done/said. While I am not completely comfortable with porn, I know guys will look at it and have come to accept that. However, I feel like an interactive cam site is crossing the line… especially since he was choosing that over sex with me.
I confronted him, we broke up, and after about a week of begging and pleading on his part, I took him back. He claims he’s ‘addicted to porn’. I kinda think thats bull, but ok you’re ‘addicted’, lets get you some help. We got back together, contingent on his going to counseling, his quitting porn and installing an internet filter, and the improvement of our sex life. He did all three, and though sex is slightly more frequent (2x/mo), its still awkward and strained.
About a month ago, I allowed him to remove the internet filter. Since then, i’ve noticed that he is meticulously deleting his browser history, so I checked the cookies folder. And, just like last time, I found porn, cam sites, and adult personals. He claims it was just ‘regular’ porn and that those were pop ups… but who knows at this point.
I confronted him, and just like last time, he flat-out denied it for a good 30 mins before he admitted to just the porn. Then he tried to blame it on me, saying i’m not home enough. I gave him just a little but of freedom back, and within one MONTH he is back to using porn. And since he has a ‘problem’, I don’t think he should be looking at porn PERIOD. Thats like an alcoholic ‘just’ drinking beer.
So I broke up with him, and again he is begging me to take him back. He even pulled out an engagement ring he had just bought. Though I love him, I feel like I gave him a chance to change, and don’t want to compete with porn for the rest of my life. And the fact that he tried so hard to hide it shows that he knows he is wrong. He knows how devastated I was last time, why would he put me though that again? He’s claiming that I’m not patient enough and that I should help him recover, not abandon him.
Am I being ridiculous, or is leaving the right thing to do?
Best answer:
Answer by Robbie
leaving him is he correct thing to do.
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